


Lace for Skin, Buttons for Eyes

by dizzysodas



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Lesbian Character, Pining, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 21:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzysodas/pseuds/dizzysodas
Summary: She always felt like something was wrong, but couldn't place what.A short self-discovery piece about Snorkmaiden.Happy pride month!





	Lace for Skin, Buttons for Eyes

She saw the world with rose-colored glasses.

She couldn’t help it. When she was younger, her brother would read her the grandest of stories. They were usually about princesses and knights, but more so about falling in love and happy endings. He never cared much about these fantasies, but read them anyway to appease her.

She always dreamed of a knight coming to save her. She didn’t necessarily  _ need  _ saving, as her life was mellow and content, but she craved the rush of meeting a mysterious lover. To be sought after. To be wanted so desperately that the brave knight would jump over every hurdle, just for her.

She felt like a doll. As if the heavens originally sent down a small pillowy doll with lace for skin and buttons for eyes, and on a whim, gave it a touch of life. When she was younger, she would get her hands on any makeup she could and apply it, longing for beauty. Oh, how she longed for beauty. 

Beauty almost seemed unattainable. She’d curl her hair, she’d put on lipstick, she’d apply mascara. None of it worked. None of it helped. She’d end up staring at herself in the mirror and crying it all away, not being able to put her finger on why she was so upset.

She wanted her knight. She wanted someone to scoop her up onto their horse and marvel at her beauty. The fact that she even wanted this in the first place made her upset too, but again, she couldn’t place why.

She thought her knight was Moomintroll. He’d give her flowers, he’d go on long walks with her, he’d tell her kind words- He was the center of all her affections. She obsessed over him. 

He was her knight. He would save her. He was perfect.

But he wasn’t. He disappointed her time and time again. He longed after Snufkin, and eventually, they parted ways. She was secretly relieved. He was the sweetest boy, but she found herself feeling claustrophobic. He’d kiss her cheeks, and she felt herself feeling as if she  _ should  _ be enjoying his affection, although most of the time, she  _ didn’t. _ She could never place why. His touch made her feel like something was incredibly wrong sometimes, but it just made her feel like something was terribly, terribly wrong with her.

She’d find herself crying sometimes. Always in private- She would never show her tears to anyone. Not over this particular subject. She felt like she  _ should  _ be feeling things that she  _ wasn’t,  _ and it made her incredibly disappointed in herself. 

She was supposed to marry her knight and have a happy ending, but her knight made her feel like she couldn’t breathe sometimes.

She wanted to be beautiful. Maybe if she was more beautiful, maybe if she tried harder to dress up femininely, maybe if she thought about things differently… She would go back to normal.

_ Normal.  _ Whatever that was.

They never did go back to “normal”. She found herself relieved that she wouldn’t be the subject of Moomintroll’s affections anymore, but the question of ‘ _ Why? _ ’ still gnawed at her.

That is, until she was over at the Moomin’s house, attending an end-of-the-summer party. Music played gently against the summer air, and people were dancing in a lively manner.

She remembered that Little My asked her to dance that night. She figured that it would be fun, so she accepted, but being that close to Little My made her heart beat harder and her paws sweat. They danced for many dances before retiring for the night, but she couldn’t help but look at the orange gleam of Little My’s hair against the outdoor lights and feel like she was looking at the sun.

She ruminated over that night, tossing and turning in her bed every evening. 

Something in her wished she had danced with Little My for longer. 

Something in her had changed.

Her knight wasn’t an unknown man in a metal suit, stealing her away after just a glance. Her knight was kind, adventurous, and had a head full of bright red hair. And she couldn’t care less about beauty.

She felt at home when she longed for Little My. Every chance Snorkmaiden would get, she would steal her away, spending time with her and just her alone. When they were by themselves, Little My would sometimes take down her hair and let Snorkmaiden braid it. The two slowly got closer, and without ever saying a word, their intimacy was mutually understood.

She never had the words to say it, but she felt as if her life had fallen into place. Little My would sometimes fall asleep in her lap, and as she brushed bright red strands of hair behind the other’s ears, she felt as if she was safe.

She finally felt like her rose-tinted glasses had been taken off. She was seeing things as they really were, and they were exquisitely beautiful.

Especially Little My.

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this as a short break from my siren AU fic! i love snorkmaiden shes so underrated
> 
> also this is kinda based off of a personal poem i wrote!


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